Best One-Liners I Have Come Across

1. 62.15% of all statistics are meaningless.

2. May be this world is another planet's hell.

3. I was so poor growing up if I wasn't a boy, I'd have had nothing to play with.

4. I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

5. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

6. Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all the doubts.

7. Don't take life too seriously; you'll never get out of it alive.

8. First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.

9. Life is a sexually transmitted disease and the mortality rate is one hundred percent.

10. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

11. Its a waste to argue with fools; first they bring you down to their level and then beat you by their experience.

12. We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like.

13. Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.

14. The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense.